Feeding Time

Some exhibits don’t need feeding. They just need you.Some exhibits don’t need feeding. They just need you.

πŸ”‘πŸ—οΈπŸšͺπŸŒ‘πŸ’πŸ©ΈπŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈπŸ—£οΈπŸ”’

By all accounts, Eli Lim loved his new job as head groundskeeper of the Whispering Pines Zoological Reserve. It suited him to perfection –there were no questions. No voices.No witnesses. Just cages and animals

But something felt—off. The security cameras around the zoo clicked. Clicked again. Buzzed. Buzzed and buzzed. Then spat static, vigourosly. They seemed to resist, then release.

He kept an eye on the cages. They watched him.Β 

Exhibit E? Off limits.Β 

The managementΒ  told him never to feed the exhibit, but never told him what it was.

The enclosure lay under Darkness’ cloak–one that shrouded curses and beings which only appeared then. Eli never stepped into it–he had no reason to.

Until the sounds began. He patrolled the grounds dutifully each night, with the ravenous animals looking forward to his rounds—and their feeds. Then came the scratching. Then, odd screeching.

Then, dissonant howling.

Meat deliveries that he received each week weren’t…in sync. They came at the wrong time, on the wrong day.

Eli had more than a few burning questions for his manager. She looked up at him as he walked through the door, greeting him with her usual friendly aplomb.

“Eli! What brings you to the catacombs?” She sounded the first syllable with relish.

Eli demurred—he didn’t need his colleagues to think of him as quirky. “Hi Rita. I was hoping that you’ll be able to tell me what’s happening with Exhibit E.”

Her smile slowly faded. “Oh. That doesn’t need feeding–it feeds itself. Do you need help with the other animals?”‘

An adroit change of subject. The other archive staff judiciously avoided eye contact. The shelves leaned forward, listening keenly.Β 

Well, The Lord helps those who help themselves, he thought. He browsed the archive shelves for a few much-needed answers.

Until he came across a door. A sentry. Bolted.

A faint knock. Faint. Rhythmic. Patient.Β 

The sounds increased in capacity—more murmuring, more twittering–and volume. The river of cacophony drove the usually stoic Eli to finally break protocol.

It drew him in on one of his routine patrols.

And he unlocked the exhibit.

All was quiet and dark. Then the murmuring began again–and rose to become a tsunami of noises that flooded the mind.Β 

Covering his ears, he stumbled through the exhibit, almost crashing to the floor.

In front of a pale figure. With a name tag–Night Keeper Miguel S. In a tattered zoo keeper’s attire

He raised his lowered head to meet Eli’s gaze–one with dried blood that had once streamed down its sides.

He was what happened to keepers who asked too many questions–no longer a keeper.

He stared at Eli with pleading hollows–not eyes.

“The keys….cages…”

Its bloodshot gaze fell on Eli, shifting —not from fear, but to tell Eli something.

To warn.

Eli turned to run–but a hail of lights greeted him. The other keepers had arrived.

Calm. Ready.

But Eliβ€”Eli was ready too.

And this time, he wasn’t just holding keys.Β 

He gripped them harder. The cages answered.Β 

Eli roamed the enclosures, shepherding monkeys that refused to return to their places in the treetops.

The zoo had new exhibits–Exhibit A wasn’t off limits, but always growled:

“I won’t entertain!”

Exhibit B would greet the hoards of tourists who came in tattered pants and a torn shirt, peeking from the trees.

No longer nightkeepers–but on show.

πŸ”‘πŸ—οΈπŸšͺπŸŒ‘πŸ’πŸ©ΈπŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈπŸ—£οΈπŸ”’

Original story by Michelle Liew Tsui- Lin AI tags are coincidental.

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No Longer a Shadow

Love stays, even when illusions don’t.

πŸΎπŸŒ…πŸΎπŸŒ™πŸΎπŸŒ…πŸΎπŸŒ™πŸΎ

Peter was quiet. He often kept to himself, but I knew that he carried something heavy in his heart. He never said what it was, but I could feel it; it was a shadow that followed him wherever he went. I wish I could chase it away for him.

I was his second pair of eyes. A nose that smelt what he couldn’t. Ears that heard the creaks behind doors that he couldn’t.

Then something began to change. I started to act funny. I knew that something was off; my tail refused to wag when I asked it to. I barked at the attic door–I just knew something was hidden. I could almost sink my teeth into it. I knew that Peter was ready to find it.

But he didn’t believe me. To him, I was just his dog–something to feed and pat, that he was responsible for. But I could see the way his eyes flickered when I nudged the drawer open. I knew I was getting to him.

He opened the drawer, and his face changed–I could see the utter surprise, the confusion. The locket his mother always wore. It was there, but it was empty. Broken. He held it in his hands. It had always been shattered, vacant. But a piece of his mother. His fingers brushed it, as though it had been waiting for a forgotten truth.

As he continued fumbling through the drawer, his fingers brushed against a simple, but curious box. Nondescript as it was, it was compelling–he picked it open with a nearby pin.

In it was a series of old photos and documents. As the photos spilled out, his face lost its colour. Each one was a silent accusation, showing Peter the father he barely knew–the older man tangled in a web of lies that shattered lives.

She had been a lady his mother had known all her life. Her confidante. They had been together when his mother was at work, unable to give his father the attention he needed, even when I was around.

Peter wasn’t the same after looking through those photographs. I could tell from the way he patted me, or walked me around the block–he just seemed–distracted.

Now, he doesn’t grip the leash so tightly. He still looks at his father’s photos, but at a man he never really knew. He’s hurt. But petting me is therapy. I could never use words–I only had my eyes, ears, and nose.

I never asked for thanks, but just being by his side helped him to face what he needed to. I was there through all the silence and pain.

His partner.

We’re watching the sunset from our backyard – me, with my head on Peter’s lap. He’s putting on his thinking cap — probably wondering why he never noticed the obvious.

Me? I only notice the well-deserved treats.

After all, I showed him that loving without strings means being there. The truth sits in the drawer, no longer a shadow, even if it’s not so tidy.

πŸΎπŸŒ…πŸΎπŸŒ™πŸΎπŸŒ…πŸΎπŸŒ™πŸΎ

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The Truth We Find Too Late

πŸ•―οΈπŸ“–πŸŒ’πŸ–‹οΈπŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈπŸ’€πŸŒ©οΈπŸ“œπŸ•―οΈ

Edwin Chong. Once a celebrated novelist, now a near-silent shadow. He had retreated into his reclusive world of darkness and words. His once-strong body denied him daily now, each breath he took heavier than the last.

A dilapidated house on the outskirts of town kept him within its dark walls. Once a beautiful rosewood writer’s den, it was filled with ageing manuscripts, the bated breath of horror novels, and the cloying scent of nostalgia.

The crime writer simply couldn’t put pen to paper; inspiration wouldn’t flow, and neither would his words. He penned fewer and fewer novels; orders for them eventually disappeared. He became lost in the cobwebs of his mind, his thoughts becoming tangled with a dark notion- to write his death- was a way of rewriting his life.

The opportunity for him to recreate himself–his life–came one day in the form of a letter. Untitled, anonymous. The words crept beneath his skin- details of the symptoms of the sickness he was experiencing, down to a T. Symptoms no one knew anything about. In it was the ominous refrain:

“Recraft your ending to know what ails you.”

There was nothing to do but follow the cryptic directive. Struggling with his mental health, Edwin began to pen a novel–one where the protagonist died in mysterious circumstances.

As the novel took shape, the events followed. What he put on paper…

Manifested.

The first of the stories he wrote after receiving the letter was about a shadowy stalker who lurked outside his home. Soon after publication, a mysterious figure appeared outside his window.

The protagonist became consumed by a fatal illness. Edwin himself experienced symptoms similar to those he wrote about.

In one more, his protagonist came across an obituary of himself in the newspaper. He nearly gagged on his coffee when he saw one of his own in the Nation Times.

Things came to a head when he received a voluminous manuscript – over 50 pages that he had no recollection of–foretelling his death in bone-chilling detail.

Margaret, his long-absent sister, dropped in for an unexpected visit.

“Edwin, you know we love your writing. But writing your own death seems—unnecessary. Morbid.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Edwin turned away, dismissing her words. Uneasy, she turned to an old family friend and detective, Rowan Lee.

He watched Edwin’s home discreetly — confrontation would only hinder. The stalker, obituary and manuscript—were eerie, but trivial enough to be mere coincidences.

As the novelist’s health continued its accelerating decline, the disease became a part of the story he was penning. Struggling with a myriad of thoughts in his head, he became convinced that his illness was part of his story–the line between fiction and death had become blurred.

The manuscript lay before him, the ink glistening as though freshly spilled. Except that he had not raised his pen in hours.

Driven by desperation, he penned his own death scene, as though the words themselves could free him from his fate. As his heart palpitated, the storm outside mirrored its rhythm. His reality had an uncanny echo.

Lightning flashed outside his window, illuminating his reflection–he was a gaunt ghost of his former self. The walls caved in, and the air became dense with the scent of old paper and something else. Something that signaled the end.

His heart hammered wildly, each throbbing beat a toll of the inevitable.

A whisper sounded from the unseen: “You wrote this.”

The clock struck midnight, and with it, Edwin Chong drew his last breath. He passed, exactly as he himself described, in circumstances that would turn one’s skin into a field of goosebumps.

Including Detective Rowan Lee. As he reviewed, he blinked.

His scepticism came apart as he put together the details of Edwin’s death. Each moment of his investigation advanced the horror story.

He had no choice but to leave the case open. He wondered–did Edwin lead himself into an early grave, or had fate intervened in the cruellest way possible?

As Edwin’s sister, Margaret, read her brother’s final words, she wondered: Had her brother created his own fate, or had it created him?

A few days later, another letter arrived, as if in answer:

“Edwin’s story is but a short chapter in a tale yet to be told.”

πŸ•―οΈπŸ“–πŸŒ’πŸ–‹οΈπŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈπŸ’€πŸŒ©οΈπŸ“œπŸ•―οΈ

Original story by Michelle Liew Tsui Lin

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The First Call

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

Glen’s hand’s shook nervously. The telephone operator’s role gnawed at him. That was not surprising – he had been on it for only a few hours.
And it was an unusual one.
He connected voices, but held onto none. His ears were for others, though others never offered theirs.
Home was for voices to pass, not stay.

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

Then, a line opened, before it was supposed to.
A soft click. An uneven breath.
A voice arrived – that should not have existed.
With something missing.

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

Glen listened. He paused. He remained still.
What would it mean to be heard? Across time? Across space?
The line hummed. It asked for nothing.
But offered everything.

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

The console buzzed. He spoke into it, almost a whisper.
His voice melded with the one on the line. It was hesitant.
Almost careful.
Time froze, for just a second.

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

Glen broke out of his reverie. It struck him.
There was only one voice. Rounded. Undiminished
There was no second speaker.
No awkward pause. No him.

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

He glared sharply at the console before him. To connect, and not be connected?
An unseen hand, bringing lines together?
Him in silence, and the world, in a cacophony of sound/
He breathed. He would not be thanked.
But he WAS the console. The connection.

He fiddled with the volume knob on the console before him and sighed.
More connections to be made.
They spoke. They listened. They were heard.

Glen remained with them, listening in silence.

βœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨πŸ“žβœ¨

Original story by Michelle Liew Tsui-Lin. AI tags are coincidental.

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Waiting Room

We sometimes wait to be told before we move.

She didn’t.

She moved anyway. 

🚢

I pushed my feet,

in, and out. In, and out. 

Against a treadmill,

Worn and torn.

To nowhere.

‘How’d I do?” I asked.

No answer. 

A blank stare. 

“How did I do?” I asked.

No answer. 

I shifted my feet. 

🚢🚢

Sessions passed. 

Silence after silence. 

Week after week.

My feet moved. 

Toes pushing, faster.

 I waited. And waited. ‘

When will I walk?’

No answer. 

🚢🚢🚢

Week after week.

Month after month.

Not answers, but questions.

Not speech, but silence.

She moves, mouth closed.

I wait, wide-eyed.

Then, my feet moved faster.

I was not stuck. 

I was stuck –

Waiting.

🚢🚢🚢🚢

So I stood.

I walked, out of the room. 

She looked. 

In stoic silence. 

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Standing Room Only

Today, Apil 10,the RMS Titanic departed. It was designed to carry passengers safely. 

It did not carry equally. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

the An airline crunch. A product of the ongoing war. 

Priority boarding entered the plane. 

They took their seats. The rest stood.

A little child had to stand. He stumbled as he grasped an armrest. The well-dressed lady, protected by her seat belt, grimaced as he nearly fell on top of her. 

Not from fear.

The line was drawn. Then, the plane took off. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

The seatbelt sign stayed on. No one could move.   Those without seats remained where they were. The child rubbed his legs, and cried. There was nowhere to go.           

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

The seated passengers curled back on their armrests. Infight TVs came on. 

Their hot meals arrived, promptly. Trays unfolded. 

The standing passengers shifted their weight. The little boy grasped a forbidden armrest. 

Eyes glared. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

An outstretched hand grasped the child. Freed him of support. 

“That seat’s not yours. Please return to where you were standing. You can’t stay there.”

The boy’s mother hurriedly ushered him to the spot. 

From the seat, a pair of eyes. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

Then, turbulence. Not minor. Not inconsequential. 

It rocked. 

Hands moved the boy to his place. He was pulled back. 

His hand slipped. 

No one moved. 

His legs slipped. 

No one moved. 

He fell. And rolled to the other end of the cabin. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

He was summarily returned to his position.

With a broken arm. No sling on board. 

He wailed. His flustered mother grimaced.

Meals continued for the seated. Their screens stayed on. 

Trays stayed open. Attendants served only them. Nothing paused. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

He wasn’t trapped. He could still fly. 

He just wasn’t prioritised. 

✈️πŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘βœˆοΈπŸͺ‘

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Emotional Proxy

Feelings return to those who own them.

πŸ§ πŸ’ΌπŸ“„πŸ“„πŸ“„

They pay me to feel. 

This is my work. 

They hire me. 

So they feel nothing. 

I take what they avoid. 

😐➑️😢

They pay me. 

I grieve at funerals. 

I take on their denial. 

Their stress is mine. 

Assignment. 

Remorse. Anger. Fear. Regret. 

😐➑️😢

But work ends. 

My feelings do not. 

They overlap. 

Theirs and mine.

I cannot tell.

And I strain.

πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

No more real feelings. 

No one feels either. 

Not anymore. 

I was hired to feel love.

I was hired to feel remorse.

 I don’t know what to feel.

But they know again.

😐➑️😢

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What She Left Undone

She thought nothing was missingβ€”until she was.

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

The silence in the study was a heavy warm blanket. But Nelly was used to it, living alone.

Her apartment defined her. The sounds. The smells. Every piece of furniture.

Anything out of place would be –

Unthinkable.

She woke up one morning to discover just that.

Her coffee cup, with half-drunk coffee. Not missing – misplaced, on the wrong side of the table. Her toothbrush, with toothpaste. The frayed bristles a reminder.. The book she started to read the night before, new, with dog ears.

The apartment remained. Nothing missing. Nothing changed.

Everything different.

It was that way for a few mornings. Each morning felt –

Edited.

Not wrong enough to panic. Not right enough for comfort.

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

Nelly kept turning her pillow. She couldn’t sleep. A book on the wrong shelf. Her glasses, on the wrong side of the table. Her slippers, on the other side of the bed from where she had placed them.

A webcam.

It hummed.

Small movements. Closer. And closer.

To her.

At 2:43, she sat up.

At 2:44, she lay down.

At 2:45, out of bed.

A new shift.

Small edits. But unmistakable.

Consequential.

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

The footage began to argue with itself. 

She was asleep. And she was not. 

She was on the left side of the bed. And on the right. 

The screen held two versions of herself – one sleeping. The other –

Sitting. Lying. Sitting.

Then, her mattress. Little dips. 

Then, slightly larger sinkholes.

The space next to Nelly had memorised her form. 

It breathed. In sync with her. 

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

It came. 

The second body. Creating dips. Spaces. Sinkholes.

On the other side of her mattress. 

Only on nights she left things…

Undone. 

The more she left them, the deeper it rested. 

Neglect had a shape. 

The next night. There were no messages. No delays.

The bed was still. 

2:43 a.m. She sits up.

The bed was empty. 

She didn’t return. She had left

The imprint remained in the morning. In the space.

Not where she used to sleep. 

The silence in the study was a heavy warm blanket. But Nelly was used to it, living alone.

Her apartment defined her. The sounds. The smells. Every piece of furniture.

Anything out of place would be –

Unthinkable.

She woke up one morning to discover just that.

Her coffee cup, with half-drunk coffee. Not missing – misplaced, on the wrong side of the table. Her toothbrush, with toothpaste. The frayed bristles a reminder.. The book she started to read the night before, new, with dog ears.

The apartment remained. Nothing missing. Nothing changed.

Everything different.

It was that way for a few mornings. Each morning felt –

Edited.

Not wrong enough to panic. Not right enough for comfort.

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

Nelly kept turning her pillow. She couldn’t sleep. A book on the wrong shelf. Her glasses, on the wrong side of the table. Her slippers, on the other side of the bed from where she had placed them.

A webcam.

It hummed.

Small movements. Closer. And closer.

To her.

At 2:43, she sat up.

At 2:44, she lay down.

At 2:45, out of bed.

A new shift.

Small edits. But unmistakable.

Consequential.

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

The footage began to argue with itself. 

She was asleep. And she was not. 

She was on the left side of the bed. And on the right. 

The screen held two versions of herself – one sleeping. The other –

Sitting. Lying. Sitting.

Then, her mattress. Little dips. 

Then, slightly larger sinkholes.

The space next to Nelly had memorised her form. 

It breathed. In sync with her. 

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

It came. 

The second body. Creating dips. Spaces. Sinkholes.

On the other side of her mattress. 

Only on nights she left things…

Undone. 

The more she left them, the deeper it rested. 

Neglect had a shape. 

The next night. There were no messages. No delays.

The bed was still. 

2:43 a.m. She sits up.

The bed was empty. 

She didn’t return. She had left

The imprint remained in the morning. In the space.

Not where she used to sleep. 

πŸ•―οΈπŸ›οΈπŸŒ™β°πŸ“ΉπŸͺžπŸ‘€πŸ•³οΈπŸ«₯🫧

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Still, Therefore Fine

Functioning is not the same as living.

πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈπŸ§ΉπŸ›οΈπŸ”βš™οΈπŸ˜πŸ’­πŸ•³οΈπŸ’”

Not sitting, still walking.

Not lazing, still moving.

Not sleeping, still rising.

Functional, and fine.

πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈπŸ§ΉπŸ›οΈπŸ”βš™οΈπŸ˜πŸ’­πŸ•³οΈπŸ’”

I still walk the dog,

I still clean the floor.

I still make the bed.

Still functioning –

Fine.

πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈπŸ§ΉπŸ›οΈπŸ”βš™οΈπŸ˜πŸ’­πŸ•³οΈπŸ’”

But I stand, yet slip.

Move, yet delay.

Speak – yet pause.

Still functioning.

Not feeling.

πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈπŸ§ΉπŸ›οΈπŸ”βš™οΈπŸ˜πŸ’­πŸ•³οΈπŸ’”

Still standing.

Still moving.

Still functioning –

Not fine.

πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈπŸ§ΉπŸ›οΈπŸ”βš™οΈπŸ˜πŸ’­πŸ•³οΈπŸ’”

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A Minor 100

What looks small from the outside can take everything to achieve.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

Walking. Small, deliberate steps.

Plodding. And plodding.

The same small steps, again and again.

Repeated. Every day.

My feet moved. Slowly. Gradually. Painfully.

Recurring visits to the physiotherapy room in the hospital. Days blended together, timeless. The smell of medicine, cloying in the nose.

Numbness and pain in both limbs.

Aches without feeling. Balancing was a tightrope act.

The mundanity seemed like torture. An unnecessary necessity.

But the small torture was big progress.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

Another visit to the physiology centre. The same tiny, purposeful steps, day after day.

An unsteady gait, then a confident stance.

Shifting my too-heavy weight from foot to foot.

Placing them down, too cautiously.

I walked too slowly for my liking. Lumbering. Faltering. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Three times daily.

The continuous effort to achieve something as simple as mobility was draining physically and mentally; depression stalked my bedside as a most unwanted visitor.

The sessions felt like walking through an endless stretch of the Sahara. I needed the support that a teenager didn’t want to have; it was too shameful. Gripping the therapist’s arm as if I was three times my age. Having the nurse assist me with a bed pan when I shouldn’t need one. Hospital visits were always turned down.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

The walks came to a sudden stop when I developed meningitis after consuming some spice. I required a lumbar puncture, or an extraction of spinal fluid.

So I was tied to the bed, face down, a needle up my spine. From a confident stance to a lie abed.

Plod a little. Sit up. Plod a little. Sit up. Lie flat. Lie flat.

I gripped the side of my bed. Slide. Slide. Slide. I dropped to the ground, completely exhausted. My flaccid legs could not carry me past my bed post. Again, nurses provided assistance that I did not want. I sometimes rejected it with a shove.

The walks came to a sudden stop when I developed meningitis after consuming some spice. I required a lumbar puncture, or an extraction of spinal fluid.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

So I was tied to the bed, face down, a needle up my spine. From a confident stance to a lie abed.

Plod a little. Sit up. Plod a little. Sit up. Lie flat. Lie flat.

I gripped the side of my bed. Slide. Slide. Slide. I dropped to the ground, completely exhausted. My flaccid legs could not carry me past my bed post. Again, nurses provided assistance that I did not want. I sometimes rejected it with a shove.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

But the physiotherapy had to continue if I ever wanted to leave the hospital. Back to the physiotherapy room. Start. Start. Stumble. Stop.

Start. Start. Stumble. Stop. Wincing from the pain. Start. Stop. Start. Start. Continue.

And continue I did, for another 2 weeks. Ceaseless starts and stops. Then –

Walk. Stop. Walk. Continue. Stop.

Continue. Continue.

The nurses started to visit my bed less frequently. My grip on the bed rail slowly released. I stood on both feet.

Walk. Stop. Continue. Walk. Stop. Continue.

Myself.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

Visits to the therapist lasted another month. The same nurses faces – I knew each by name.

Walk. Continue. Walk. Continue. Stop. Walk. Continue. Stop.

And out into the corridors. Those regular trips became mini-adventures.

The legs hurt. But there were no nurses with me.

I walked on two feet. On my own.

Carefully. Steadily.

No holding bed rails. Just me, myself, and both limbs.

A final trip to the therapist. I walked throughout the room. Walk. Continue. Walk, walk, continue.

Walk, walk, continue.

I continued out of the therapist’s room and out of the hospital.

My tussle with post-brain tumour surgery walking was over.

I scored a minor 100.

πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸ₯βž‘οΈπŸ›οΈβž‘οΈπŸ’‰βž‘οΈπŸ›‘βž‘οΈπŸ”βž‘οΈπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈβž‘οΈπŸ

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