Tracing with Chalklines

Tracing the lines between purpose and passion.

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If I could chart my life as a map, it would be done with chalk–with some parts erased, rewritten, and finally, merged as one.

I have chartered the mental highway that connects its different parts-some with clarity, others in brain fog that’ refuses to clear.

Each line I draw is jagged. Unclear. It smudges, the ink making the words on the map difficult to read.

Through the smudged ink, chalkdust and jagged lines, I move forward, seeking a self-and drawing that is complete.

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A teacher’s map is one that I’ve always wanted to charter–my mum, being a teacher, has drawn one of her own.

I drew mine with some difficulty because the chalk flaked at many points.

Flaky chalk defined the starting point of my map. I had wanted to chart a legal map–to travel along life’s road as a successful litigator.

Then—

My brain received two unwanted visitors-pituitary brain tumours

Introspection and altruism held the chalk–and drew for me.

Charting the Teacher’s map, with the noble goal of shaping lives–became, literally and metaphorically, a more attractive draw.

So it was that I reached the first destinations along my map as a teacher—the National Institute of Education and the Nanyang Technological University.

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The road I drew–then travelled on–was not without its bumps and resulting bruises

My next stop on the road was at an all-girl’s convent teaching seven-year-old mademoiselles(the school has a French history).

The bump along the road? They didn’t behave like mademoiselles.

They did as little girls would do–they constantly chattered.

Like raucous boys would, they messed up the classroom–every day.

But they also called me “mummy”.

Then–I knew that the Teacher’s Map would lead to a Treasure Chest.

I travelled along the map to secondary schools.

The next stop was one in the North of Singapore, where I realised that teaching wasn’t just about classroom lesson delivery–it was life lesson delivery.

Part of the map was drawing FOR the students–shaping their confidence as musicians, serving as their lead singer at school rock concert performances, and boosting their linguistic capabilities via English and Literature.

More shaping–and chartering.

This time I drew my map–and maps for other teachers–as an English and Literature subject coordinator.

Some maps were tasks to draw–when conjugating a grammatical sentence was difficult.

When a student wrote a full, five-page essay with a single–just one–period, or full stop, at the end.

When I had to help an abusive student navigate his relationship with his mother.

When some students smoked in class, in full view.

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But the teaching map wasn’t the only one I was to charter.

The writing map cried out to this teacher to draw as well.

I had chartered the map to a crossroads.

The teaching map would trace a route of stability, structure and control.

But not satisfaction–

Of creation. Of being in control of one’s voice.

The writing map held that satisfaction.

But not structure or stability.

But I realised that I didn’t have to make that choice–

I drew both.

One map chartered the other.

Their efforts produced the map of a creative writing teacher.

One who got students to produce storyboards.

Who also got students to draw their maps after sitting for the O level examinations.

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The maps are still being drawn.

Each is hard to chart or follow on its own..

But both have to work together-

For financial security.

Personal satisfaction.

For the arrival of a whole soul at its destination.

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Original Map of the Self memoir by Michelle Liew Tsui-Lin. Any AI tags are conincidental

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