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Mara stepped out of her home onto her driveway—she knew each stone by heart.
But it seemed that what she knew by heart had to be relearned.
Fog clouded the street beyond, giving the otherwise familiar street an unnatural white hue. It had rained just an hour before; the puddles caught the lamplight like unlived fragments of her memory.
She caught sight of herself in a puddle. It seemed to blink—almost a stranger.
And the familiar street felt—
Different.
Unvisited.
A place unheard of.
Her life stretched before her—one that felt borrowed.
The university education that her parents couldn’t afford.
The job she passed up to care for her ailing parents.
She felt the tug of life just beyond her reach—so near, yet so far.
Each drop of rain seemed to whisper regret for what might have been; what could still be.
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She passed the park bench she and James used to sit—
For hours.
Talking.
The masculine scent of his aftershave.
The armrest he had vandalised with Cupid hearts.
She passed the music store they used to frequent—and the piano his fingertips used to grace.
A virtuoso.
Her mother.
In bed, hooked to a respirator.
The windows of her mind opened to James boarding a plane at the airport.
Fixing a lingering gaze on her as he entered the boarding gate.
Another image—odd.
Different.
Pulsing.
Of herself, following him.
Her mind veered back to the familiar street—yet not.
A gust of wind, howling, urgent, pushing her in.
Drops of rain pelted the gray cobblestone—
The black umbrella.
One they used to laugh under on days like this.
She paused mid-step, tears drenching her cheeks.
Her mother.
Him.
Not both.
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She found herself back on the street—
Known.
Yet unknown.
The gray hues of the cobblestone were now a strange white.
The white ceramic floors of the university.
She passed a cafe—open where the legal library should have been.
Music streamed from a window—from a piano.
With her mom’s cries of pain—in sync.
She’d wanted to learn that.
Her mother.
In bed, hooked to a respirator.
Herself, in a nurse’s uniform, helping her sit up.
Her mother’s tears streaming—
Down a relieved, smiling face.
The smells from the cafe teased her nostrils.
She was herself, walking.
Through the university’s halls.
Carrying legal ledgers, laughing with friends from law school.
Nurse. Her mom.
Lawyer.
Her heart—yanked.
Spinning, overwhelmed—in both directions.
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She stopped at a puddle and gazed at herself.
In her nurse’s uniform, pressed neatly.
Herself again, in the cafe’s window.
Donning a judge’s robes.
Both with raised right hands.
One mirrored the other.
Uncomfortable.
False.
Nurse.
Lawyer.
Not both.
Her heart yanked again—landing in place with a soft thump.
Of knowing.
That she had chosen a path.
One she could not forgo.
That she had to continue walking.
She heard her mother’s breathing, now quiet.
Relieved.
Stable.
Together with laughter from the university’s halls—from herself, in a judge’s robes.
Both sounds—pleasant.
Harmonious.
Mara the nurse..
The fiancée who was.
All had to walk along that street.
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Mara stood on the pavement, the gray cobblestone she knew facing her.
In her nurse’s uniform, on the way to the hospital where her mum recovered in a ward.
Her face clear, smiling, in a puddle.
The lamplight grounded her feet firmly, pushing them forward.
In the cafe window—herself, in judge’s robes, waving a poignant goodbye.
Smiling—through tears.
The sound of her mother’s breathing reverberated calmly, pelting in rhythm with the raindrops on her umbrella.
She paused at another puddle.
Herself, in a judges robes, smiling.
Then James, in the airport lounge.
Staring.
She reached.
Then pulled back.
The plane had no seat for her.
Reached again—and withdrew.
Her heart yanked.
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